This is the third and final installment (I promise).  The mother who had problems with the teacher’s assistant not attending to her child’s needs while in the a bathroom has decided to leave that daycare.  This decision was based off of two previously mentioned points from the Part 2 article.  One was that the mother observed her child to continue to be unsettled while going and returning for this daycare and two, observing another staff talking to a child in a rude manner. 

The mother noticed that her child continued to be stressed about going and returning from the daycare so she ashed him questions.  He stated that “is was scary there” and while at the facility had him try to point out to her what was scary.  While nothing was directly pointed out to her, she took his state of being as a sign to leave this facility.

 While picking her son up she had overheard another staff speaking down to a child in a manner that was not appropriate.  This call into view the possibility that the staff had not been properly trained, or addressed in managing children.  I could not confirm if the mother had reported her incident to the management of the facility for disciplinary action.

My overall assessment is that the mother was right id deciding to remove her child from this facility after repeated observations of behavior she found innapproriate.  The only other step I would recommend at this point would be to consider calling her local licensing department, discussing her situation, and having them look into the situation further. Because of the mother’s ability to recognize changes in her son’s behavior, she was able to take him out of potential future harms  way at that facility which sounds like it is going downhill.

Parents have high standards and expectations of their Child Care Provider, but it’s not just one sided.  Providers have their own expectations of parents and what makes a successful working relationship. Just as Google was rated the #1 Employer, parents should strive to achieve their own employee satisfaction with their provider. 

Here are a few tips to ensure you are being a good boss…

Be On Time.  That means paying on time and dropping off/picking up your child on time.  Just as you wouldn’t want them to be late, the same goes for you regarding punctuality.  If you are going to be late, make sure you let your provider know and don’t make a habit out of it. Meeting this expectation shows you respect and value their time and it’s an easy way to stay on some one’s good side when they are paid when due.    

Be Polite.  Your care giver is not a child so don’t treat them like one. Communicate with them as an equal and your interactions will be much more open.  Remember the old saying, “it takes a village.” 

Minimize Special Requests.  You can give your advice and input, but let them incorporate that into their methods.  Your child is one of many at the daycare, so expecting them to be given special eating or napping times is unrealistic.  If you want one on one attention consider hiring a nanny.   

Know the Rules. Every facility has rules in place to make sure everyone is treated fair and equal.  Know these principals and abide by them.  Caregivers are busy enough with the children to have to keep parents in line as well. 

Breakfast in bed is hard to do when you’re getting the kids ready for school.

Your day is busy and filled with things to do, so you forgo the call to say, “Just thinking of you.”

A candle lit dinner just isn’t the same when the kids are protesting their bedtime.

Or perhaps you think it’s just a Hallmark day, monetizing feelings so they can get paid.

It doesn’t matter what the season, to show your love for any reason.

So before y0u lay down for the night, don’t forget to hold each other tight.

A simple kiss or touch will do, followed by the words, “I love you.”

This post is a follow up to “Potty Problems at Daycare – Part 1” 

To recap:  A mother must deal with arriving at the daycare to find her four year old son crying for help in the bathroom and the teacher’s assistant knowingly not responding.  

Here are five problems stemming from the situation the mother should address.

1.  There was no supervising teacher present.  The teacher was not present for the last two hours of the day.  A subordinate finished the remainder of the day.

Action to be taken:

·        Mother must inform Administrator in charge or owner that teacher was not present.

·        State Licensing Department should be contacted if improper staff to child ratios is suspected. 

2. Lack of communication between staff.  The teacher failed to communicate special instructions to her staff which severely impacted the child’s needs.

Action to be taken:

·        Teacher must ensure communication between staff takes place in the form of a log book and/or meetings prior to shifts if subordinates are to be left with children unsupervised by the teacher.

·        Mother should take a proactive role to ensure her child needs are being met while under special circumstances.  This can be in the form of simple questions at pick up time like, “Were there any problems in the bathroom?”

·        Ask the child details about the day and be aware of any sudden changes in mood or behavior.

3.  Neglect concerns.  Despite the assistant stating it was not in the job description to assist in the bathroom, it was clear the child was in distress and she was not attending to him.

Action to be taken: 

·        Mother will notify the teacher and Administrator in charge about what happened and work toward a solution.  Disciplinary action towards the staff should be considered.

·        Mother will log a complaint with the State Licensing Dept.  A Representative will follow up with the facility to investigate the complaint and evaluate if any violations have occurred and if any sanctions will be needed.

4.  Failure to meet service obligations.  The mother paid extra money to ensure assistance would be provided should the child need it while in the bathroom. 

Action to be taken:

·        The contract should clearly spell out a “game plan” of what will happen if the child does need help in the bathroom. Both parties should have a mutual understanding of what is expected especially since parent paid extra for this particular service.

·        This is a breech of contract by the Daycare.  The mother paid for services that were not rendered at the time of need.  She should request a refund since obligations were not met. 

5.  Lack of staff qualifications.  The response of the teacher’s assistant is a strong indicator that she did not possess the training or skills to resolve the child’s toiletry issue.  Any subordinate staff placed in a supervisory position even for a limited amount time must have the proper training and credentials.

Actions to be taken:   

·        It is the facility’s responsibility to ensure all staff is trained and credentialed and that all certificates or licenses are up to date in the staff files. 

·        The mother has the right to verify credentials, etc.  Any facility unwilling to provide this proof in the form of certificates or dates of completed training should be viewed with caution. 

·        Contact your State Licensing Department to request an investigation into the facilities records.

And finally, remember to stay vigilant.  Vary your arrival times, ask questions, communicate with the staff, and talk with your child about the day.  If the mother did not arrive early to pick up her son that day, she might not have known about this issue until later, if at all.

A mother arrived a few minutes early to pick up her four old son at daycare.  Expecting to be greeted by the normal out stretched arms and smile, she instead found  her son standing in the bathroom calling for help with his pants around his ankles. 

The teacher’s assistant was rudely telling him,  ”You’re was a big boy, do it yourself. ”

The mother immediately confronted the teacher’s assistant about the situation. 

While most facilities do not accept a child until they have been potty trained, children can regress back from their training due to several factors including stress and a new environment. The mother had paid extra to the facility  to ensure her son would receive the proper encouragement and help for a successful transition. 

The teacher’s assistant stated that she was not aware the child was in this paid program nor was it in her job description to help in the bathroom.  Oh, and did I mention that the teacher is not there the last two hours of the day to ensure the assistant is properly supervised.  

The name of the daycare and family will remain anonymous, but parents can certainly take  lessons from this situation.

1.  There was no supervising teacher present.

2.  Lack of communication between staff.

3.  Neglect concerns.

4.  Failure to meet obligations which parent paid extra money to ensure.

5.  Lack of staff qualifications.

Part 2 of “Potty Problems at Daycare” will address precautionary steps to help avoid a similar situation, as well as, resolutions to ensure corrective actions are taken. 

It is important what people think about you when it comes to child care and checking references is an easy way to find out. References are a person’s opinion about a provider through knowledge and experience with them.  This information can be written (such as a letter on file or email) or verbal (such as a conversation over the phone).  Parents should always check references and use their own evaluation for weighing validity and sincerity.  Here’s a few tips to get the most out of your reference checks.

Prepare a list of specific questions.  The more direct the question, the more direct and relevant the answer will be. A general question like, “How do you like it there?” will lead to a general answer, “We like it very much there.”  Not very informative compared to  questions like these…

• How long has your child attended? 
• How old is your child?
• What do you like about the facility and staff?
• Have you ever had any problem there?

These questions ask for specific answers that will help you evaluate if there is a similarity of your child’s needs, knowing how long the parent has been with the care giver, and not only what they like, but also if there has been anything that needed to be addressed with the provider.  Be sure to include other questions that focus on your specific situation.

Try to include a reference from a past attendee.  Obviously, current families will most likely have good things to say about a provider, otherwise why would they still be there? A parent who’s child is no longer  enrolled, though, can be a little more critical and provide more open insights now that they no longer attend.  Be sure to ask “why did they stop attending?”  The answer could be as simple as the child reached school age or may bring attention to something more alarming.

Allow time for response.  Others parents are just as busy as you with their families and may not be able to get back to you as quickly as you’d like.  Allow up to a week for them to respond and then leave a follow up courtesy reminder if you haven’t heard back from them.  If you still haven’t heard from them, check to make sure you received  the right contact information.  Also, if you leave a message make sure you let them know that you are calling to check references because you are considering placing your child in the same facility. Most parents are very willing to pass on helpful information and advice to other parents who are in the same boat. 

The February issue of “Wondertime” has an interesting article on five prominent Preschool philosophies.  I’ve stewed down the descriptions of each one so parents can have a basic idea of what is out there.  Keep in mind there is no right or wrong philosophy, it just depends on what is best suited for the child and parent.  Whichever philosophy best applies to you, always make sure that it is supported by dedicated teachers and staff.

PLAY BASED – This philosophy is the catch all term for children who learn best by playing and experimenting.  It develops basic social skills, motor development, and pre-literacy.  Basic equipment includes books, art supplies, and toys that encourage pretending (kitchen with toy utensils and food).  Teacher usually spend much of the time making sure children are engaged in activities.

COOPERATIVE – This theory is based on parents interacting with the child’s education.  As the name infers, a co – op situation tends to focus more on a family dynamic rather than a child and teacher.  They are usually cheaper than other schools due to the fact of parent involvement with classroom activity, sharing duties of shopping or cleaning, and dealing with bureaucratic issues.

MONTESSORI – A practice that focuses on an environment that uses materials in a deliberate way to teach children various skills and concepts geared towards grace, courtesy, and practical life.  Children are viewed as independent thinkers and thus are encouraged to use and develop their problem solving skills independently.  This approach is different than a Play Based model in that a Montessori will use “manipulatives” that are for learning specific skills. The setting tends to be more focused and serene.  While the teachers go through extensive training, typically they observe the activities and intervene only when necessary.

REGGIO EMILIA – The name comes from the small Italian city where this system was created to be a more progressive learning center from traditional instructional mindsets.  It is considered a blend of Montessori and Play based. While children are encouraged to play, teachers carefully observe skills and interests to plan curriculum based off of that.  Community and collaboration are encouraged at all levels from children to parents and teachers.  

WALDORF – Many would label this approach “old fashioned.”  Children interact and develop in a tranquil, low tech surrounding without pressure or competition.   Modern plastic or battery powered toys, TV, and computers take a back seat to traditional wooden toys, crafts, and story telling.  While some may consider the approach to academics low key, teachers encourage children to take their time to learn and understand one thing at a time. 

Whether you are searching for a child care facility or already have your child in one, cleanliness is something you should always be on the look out for.  A well kept facility says so much about the condition of the environment and the staff.  This is an essential and easy way to asses one aspect of quality with a facility.  There are several things that a clean, well organized, facility can tell a parent without saying a word. 

Health and Safety.  These two often go hand in hand and are always a foremost concern.  Toys that are constantly left to clutter the play area are a potential tripping hazard for both child and care giver if not regularly pick up or organized in a toy chest or container.  We’ve all reminded our children to put away their toys when they are finished playing with them because  we’ve almost tripped over it.  A conscientious care giver will set the example of putting away toys that are not being played with so that a child will begin to pick up on those attributes.  Be on the look out for broken or heavily worn toys, equipment, cribs, blankets, etc.  These items can have unsafe smaller pieces that can be a choking hazard or sharp pieces that can cause injury.  Even worn paint on a toy or building wall can flake off and be poisonous if swallowed.  Always views the condition of toys and equipment, as well as, the condition of the facility.

Organization.  When things are not in the right place, we waste time looking for the item.  An organized provider will know where to find an item and thus limit the distractions from watching your child.

Pride.  One of those intangible attributes that is seen through the actions of the care giver.  It shows they take their job seriously and are responsible.  They are not just showing up for a paycheck.  They are taking a proactive approach by providing a safe, clean, and healthy environment for your child to be in.

It’s the phrase that brings joy to countless children every year. 

“We’re going to Disneyland!”

No one can disagree that the “happiest place on earth” is a memorable experience in the life of a child, however the time to achieve this milestone is left up to debate among parents.   

“When is my child ready?” 

It’s the question parents ask themselves before beginning travel arrangements.  There are factors to consider like age, health, and general awareness of the child to the environment around him or her.  After all, there is a reason why admission is free for children under two years of age. But placing the question on the child is just masking the real question parents should be asking themselves. 

“When am I ready to take my child?” 

Every parent has different levels of comfort they must address.  Some parents may feel perfectly fine to take their six month old, while others wait until their child is five years old.  Either age is fine because it is the parent who decides when the time is right to take their child. 

The parents attitude plays a big determinant in how enjoyable the day will be. It’s up to you to decide if carrying around an infant or toddler will be worth it, or will chasing around a five year old be any easier or enjoyable at that time. Either case is right.  Whether your child knows who Mickey is or just smiles at a mouse wearing white gloves,  just remember it’s what you make of it. 

Disneyland is a place for the whole family and taking your child there for the first time just might bring out the kid in you too.

Did you know there are 180 million accounts on myspace? And the average myspace user has 278 “friends.” That’s a lot of people to know.  Many of those friends may never in person and may never know if they are who they say they are.  That’s exactly what online predators pretend to be, “friends.” It used to be children met friends in school, through local sports, or on a play ground. Today the internet, chat rooms, and social network websites are where they interact as well.

Technology has created a new concern that parents must deal with today. While most parents grew up with a television in their house, the same is true for today’s youth with computers in the household. Computers are a way of life and much like the way you monitor what your child would watch on the television, the same must be done for the internet. While the information in this blog is geared towards parents with preschool age children and younger who don’t yet understand the internet, it is not too early for you to educate yourself about your child’s safety in cyberspace.

Every internet provider has parental controls that set limits on content and websites that can be viewed by a young user. Locate this feature, activate it, and learn how to use it. This is your first defense against inappropriate content that may be unintentionally accessed.

If your child is learning to use the computer and you can’t monitor him or her the whole time, make sure you know what sites were visited by checking the history profile of the computer.  Any questionable sites should be blocked with your parental controls and discuss with your child why it was blocked.

Just like talking on the phone or talking to strangers, children should never give out any personal information over the internet. Make sure your child understands that talking to a stranger over the internet is the same as if a stranger approached them in a public place.

Google your child’s name, address, phone number and social security number to see what, if any, derogatory informatoin that is out there pops up. If you do allow your child to”chat” online (no one under 14 can have a myspace page) make sure you know who they are talking to and verify that person’s profile. If it seems suspicious, contact the authorities. Investigators posing as children online have received solicitations in under 10 minutes by strangers. That’s scary.

The internet is a gateway into your home, so treat it the same way you would if someone knocked on your front door. Know who it is before you open the door.